STORIES
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6/28/2013
My husband and I have been together almost 5 years, married almost 2 years. I've always loved him dearly. I've struggled with showing my affections the right way. In a way that is encouraging for him. I let unsettled issues from my past tear me down and make me a very difficult person to be around. I wanted to argue about every little thing. I always wanted him around, to the point I was willing to shut out friends and even family. When I asked him if he loved me anymore, he replied "I care about you a lot". I felt broken, instantly. Like a bulldozer had blown me away. I was sick for days, not being able to eat, sleep...crying constantly. I continued going to work in order to retain some sanity, and found myself not being able to focus. 2 days after leaving my home to go stay with my sister, to give him his space...I sought counseling. I was determined to settle these issues within myself once and for all, and be on track to being a wonderful person. I was always against counseling, when recommended before. So this was a major step for me.
I realized that my anger, and insecurities had poisoned my marriage, and I had been an unhappy, mean person to my husband for so long, and all he ever tried to do was be there and show me how much he loved me.
After being kicked down repeatedly, he shut down. I never understood "putting God in the center of all relationships" until this happened. This was the first time I had ever really owned my faults, took a good, hard look at myself, and made a vow to myself to change my ways. To become a worthy wife, the way it should have been all along.
I am currently on day 11 of the Love Dare, and truly feel defeated. I'm finding it harder each day to continue this challenge. But I vowed to give it my all.
In the past couple weeks, my husband and I have separated. I have moved back in with my parents temporarily, and he is talking about a place with his friends. I feel powerless. The fact that we are recently apart, makes this so much harder to do.
We have no children, which is a blessing in disguise at the moment, I feel.
At first, he acted so cold towards me. Wouldn't talk to me for days. A few days ago, while packing up our home (which was just a rental) he came in early, and I could tell something was on his mind. I found him on the back porch steps, sitting there, crying. I gave him some space at first, but then went out to check on him. Asking him if he was okay...Asking him if he wanted me to leave him alone or just listen to him talk...He told me that he did not want me to leave him alone.
Lastnight, he told me to let him know when my next counseling session is, because he would like to attend with me. I still get the feeling however, that he has no desire to save this marriage, as he had said plainly before.
I've learned so much about myself just in this short time, and I truly feel at peace with past issues. I feel like I've walked over that hump, and continued on.
I'm trying to be optimistic, but do not want to give myself false hope.
He told me a couple nights ago, the same night I found him crying, that he may take a little longer going through with the divorce than expected.
I couldn't tell whether he meant that because he wouldn't have the money to file for a while, or if he was having second thoughts.
Either way, his family is being supportive. They all are writing me daily asking how I am, and asking if they can do anything. I just want for my husband's happiness.
I can't help but feel like I saw goodbye in his eyes. An emptiness that I have never seen before.
Prayers from all are greatly appreciated.
I want so badly to restore my marriage, and to love my husband properly, and treat him the way he deserves to be treated.
This change in me is a life change. I feel so much better about myself already, and feel like I have so much to offer, more than I ever thought possible.
6/15/2013
I am a 21 year old Air Force wife. I've been married for a little over a year. 3 weeks ago I came to visit my parents only to find out I'd be staying permenantly. My husband had decided he wanted a divorce. At first I wanted to blame him for his reasoning was that he was only 22 and wanted to live out his life. Going to parties, drinking, hanging with the guys etc. at the mention of this I thought this was selfish of him to want a divorce for freedom. Then I realized it wasn't because he was too young and wanted to party. it was because of me. I had made this marriage so toxic with my anger. I seemed to always find something to be upset about. And naturally I was upset at my husband which in turn drive him away. Over the course of the last three weeks he has made it clear he's done and wants nothing to do with me. So I decided to do the love dare because I'm not willing to give up. I ruined this relationship and now god will guide me to fix it. I ask of anyone who reads this for many prayers for I'm only on day 3 and feel defeated. Especially since we aren't living together it makes things harder.
Please pray for god to soften my husbands heart towards me and to heal my marriage. I made a covenant to this man and do not plan on breaking it!
Shanell
6/13/2013
My storie is a long one but I will keep it short. In August of 2012 I found out my husband was having an affair, he moved out and told me he wanted a divorce. I forgave the affair and all I wanted was to fix our marriage, I turned to God more than I had at any other point in my life. On Sept 24 2012 he divorced me and moved in with her..I continued praying, litterally before I ever got out of bed in the mornings I would pray for guidance and for restoration of my marriage. I would pray throughout the day and I would pray most of the night. Sleep was not my friend during this time. The Lord kept me going. I spoke or texted with my husband (ex-husband) periodically and told him I forgave him and still wanted our marriage regardless of all that had happened. On October 14, I had a conversation with him for about 2 hours, then next morning he pulled me out of church to talk to me and told me that he was starting the Courageous Challenge and that it was because of our conversation. That he was sorry for all the pain he had cause but that us together wouldn't work because I would never forget what he had done. So I continued to pray...On October 25th he came to my work and we (mostly I listened) talked for hours. He apologized time and time again and shared what the Lord had been doing in him and what the Lord had showed him and asked me to give him another chance. I DID NOT HESITATE and said YES!!! We remarried on November 16th and life is good. Not perfect mind you, the Lord is still working in both of us. I still have lots to learn. BUT GOD DOES ANSWER PRAYERS!!!!!!!!! I have decided to do the Love Dare (I have tried in the past but never followed through because it was too hard) because I want my marriage to stand the test of time and if I learn to love my husband as Jesus loves me then nothing can come against us again.
Brandie
6/11/2013
I am going to keep my story short....I really just want to share my thoughts. Watching this movie made me hope my partner would do the challenge....but I am accepting that the only changes one can make, is the changes within yourself. You cannot control others, you can only control yourself and how you react to others choices.....So, I am choosing to purchase the book and try it myself for my partner. I think the best I can do is to Lead by example....and hope and pray that he will mirror my actions.
God Bless everyone going through the challenge!!!
~B~
Beatrice
5/30/2013
I have read a few of the stories told on her. And I pray for all of you. My story is a hard one as well. I believe in God, I know he is there and guides me. But for what ever reason I just cant let it all go and give it to him. I want to. But I don't know why I cant. I have been married for 13 years. The man I married then was the sweetest and loving man I know. I feel he is my soul mate. But somewhere down the line we lost each other. We both have made some really bad mistakes. We both out lived our means. We both have lusted. Right now my husband sits in jail for the next four years. I was left to clean up a mess. He has been in jail for almost 2 weeks now. He seen the movie fireproof. He called and asked me to watch it. So I did see it today. It really hit home for the both of us. But I still sit here wondering if it is worth the try. I love him so much but yet I don't want to hurt anymore. I am afraid to let it go and try again in fear of getting hurt again. How do you let go? I was thinking of trying the love dare. But not sure on how that will work since we will not be together for the next 4 years. The part in the movie that talks about parasites, my parasite is fear. How do you work with that? I am down right scared. I don't want to hurt anymore. I want to be happy like we were. Please pray for me and my husband.
cathy
5/29/2013
I'm 17 years old and madly in love with my boyfriend Aaron. I know what you all with think when you read this that I'm only 17 and i don't know what love is or that its just puppy love or lust. but your thinking wrong. we have been throught a lot in 3-4 years. we broke up off and on and had al ot of arguments and fights we've lied to each other and hurt each other more times then i can count and still do argue and fight. i love him deeply although he doesn't think i love him and care about his feelings, i do. i want to marry him and grow old withI've never had a more wonderful loving caring boyfriend . I just hope that by reading the love dare our relationship will grow stronger then ever sp that when we do ge
t married it will be a strong happy healthy marriage.
-Sasha
sash
5/25/2013
My wife and I have been together for almost four years almost married for one and have a 16 month old son. At some point along the line I stopped caring for her. There's no excuse for it but I always tried to provide and be there for her and show her how much I loved her everyday, however it never seemed to be good enough.she enjoyed being with me but she never seemed happy and she always wanted to argue so I shut down. And I wish I had never made that mistake. We grew apart and we've been separated for the past few days but she got intimate with a friend of mine last night..I've always been a believer and I've wrestled with my relationship with God for a long long time but last night broke me I've gone as far down as I can go and I had nowhere else to look but up so I've put it in God's hands. In spite of what's happened I find myself still in love with my wife and im willing to do anything to fix our marriage. The first chapter of the love dare could not have hit anymore closer to home than it has for me. I know had i put God first in my marriage it would not have come to this. Ifyou read this story I ask for your prayers that no matter what happens God's will would be done. Hopefully at the end of forty days I will have a better story to tell! And I pray and my heart goes out to anyone who has been through this as well. All my love to my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Stephen
5/22/2013
My Husband and i Have almost been married a year in August but we been together for two. We have one baby together he is a month and i have a girl soon to be two. From day one he has taken my daughter as his own. He is a great father to her i couldn't ask for a better father. We grew up very different i grew up with both parents being married in Christian home but left the things of God at a young age. He grew up with his parents separated but lived with neither. I always knew right from wrong, manners, respect and to fear God. He did what he wanted when he wanted with no responsibilities. We both gave out life's to God May 2012. God has done wonderful things and blessed us in ways we never thought of.
Our problem is that we cant seem to put our selfish ways aside, we dont have much communication, and pride is always getting in the way. We both have a past that has be hard to live behind and seems to always find a way to creep back up. I have spoken down on my husband so much because he didn't go school or church i have belittled him. I have felt like i am more then him. i believe this book is going to help me to Love my Husband before anyone or anything to respect him and honor him. With the help of God and this book my marriage will raise up again!
5/16/2013
I have been married for six years. In that time I have been physically away from my family for 36 months of that. I am active duty Army. This is the first time that I am going to be home for a full 24 months since I joined. In the last several months I drove the bus that has almost ruined my marriage. I asked my wife to enter a swinger lifestyle. She did not want to but I pushed and she agreed. When we laid out our rules I bent or broke them at every turn, my wife always catching me when I did within minutes. I would always lie to her to save her feelings, but it didnt matter because she always knew. I still don't know how she does it. The last time broke the camels back. All she EVER asked was for me to be honest with what I did, and I couldnt even do that. We are still living together but she has moved away from me emotionally. We sleep in the same bed, with different blankets. She no longer calls me babe or baby, says good night or good morning, or I love you. When I realized what was going on I was confused at first. I read 5 love languages (I had it on my book shelf for 5 years) and realized that she had been screaming for me to stop and listen to her for months, and all I did was get angry. I began to try and speak in her language, and it was okay for a few more days. Then she shut down all emotion. I went to see a chaplain and broke down crying from the almost immediately. He told me about this book and I bought it last night and read it while on duty, finishing it early this morning. I knew immediately that this is what I needed to do. I had already committed myself to winning her back, but I did not have a "plan". I now do. I am committed to this. I havent spoken a negative word to my wife in over a week. Tomorrow I start day two.
5/15/2013
My wife and I have been married for 20 years. We have 4 children ages 19, 16, and twin 9 year olds. I broke my wifes heart twice, once 6 years ago during an internet affair, and again a year and a half ago with an internet affair. We worked things out between us, I attended counseling and got rid of all my social media and computer habits. I have not done anything since then. My wife took me back quickly and the last year and a half in my mind were great. My wife told me about a month ago that she began to talk to her ex boyfriend from 21 years ago. My mind began to panic and a few days later I checked her facebook and saw a message to her sister saying that her ex was the only man to make her mind wander. I freaked out and immediately accused her of cheating on me. She denied anything was going on and turned the tables on me. She told me that she never got over the internet affair and has trust issues with me all of the time. During the next week she found and brought out everything bad I had ever done. I felt horrible and that I was not aware (OR BLIND) to the fact that she was not feeling this way. She told me Saturday that our Marriage is over, she told me "I'm sorry for all the hurt your going through, I need to be truthful to myself for once. I feel like i'm always there for everyone but not myself. I hate having a relationship without trust and feeling unhappy deep down." She then wanted to go to marriage counseling and I set up a date and time. She cancelled the day before. Saturday she told me that she wants a divorce. I was and still am devistated. She then told me, "I love you, but Ive fallen out of love for you." She is not willing to do anything to save the marriage and just wants out. We are both looking for apartments. We agreed to be corgil to each other, and that has been working great since Monday. I am giving her space and I am committed to do whatever I can to save our marriage. I truly love her so much and will not give up. I just started the love dare today and I am committed to do this.
5/14/2013
My marriage is in trouble. I married a Man-Child, and while it was cute and adorable in the beginning it is now a burden and has created ALOT of resentment in me.
He is a good man. I don't tell him that anymore.
He has a good heart. I make him feel bad about himself more often than not.
He is thoughtful to others. I am no longer his priority.
He has been an incredible Firefighter for over 24 year. I tell him he is stupid daily.
He can't change a lightbulb by himself, I critisize him for being so dependant.
What was once "his problem" in this marriage is now "our" problem... if I were to be honest. I have threatened to leave so many times, that he no longer takes me seriously. And if HE does try, I do not give him the chance anymore. Which is why this has become "OUR" problem. I admit, to myself, that I created a jaded, hostile enviroment out of resentment, lack of compassion and annoyance.
I am taking the advise of my cousin and I am reading and practicing The Love Dare. I am not telling him about it. I have ALOT of reservations about making him even MORE dependant but I have nothing else to lose.
If I left this man, it's not because I don't love him. I simply don't like him. I don't like anything about him anymore because of this never-ending circle of anger we are on.
I have to change. Which in turn will help him change his behaviour towards me.
To love is easy, to like is much harder.
Cindy
5/11/2013
My story is a very different one. My wife and I have been married for four years together for five almost six. We have two children together, a four year old and a two year old. I am forcing myself to admit a lot of things, things that would normally one time destroy a marriage. My wife has put up with a lot from me, my pride has gotten in the way of our marriage several times, more than I care to count actually. I have committed adultery, I have lied to her about it. My pity and ego drove her into the arms of another man on the internet. It was her first time doing it and we are in a bit of separation. I tried to do the love dare on her once before and failed out after five days. I don't want her to know I am doing the love dare this time around for this time it is a covenant between me and god. You see I was a "christian". I went to church and shook hands with everyone and praised god, put on a good show for everyone. But once we left the church I went back to my ways. This time around I feel god has stripped me down to my spiritual core and is building me back up. I have been doing the love dare for seven days now. I joined the online site to help me with it, I am going to see it through to the end and pray and hope that my marriage survives and my wife will forgive me. It is said that time and god can heal all wounds. I will continue to pray and fight for her, only time will tell.
5/11/2013
My husband told me last night that he wants a divorce - Happy Mother's Day to me! We have 16 year old twins who are so super smart and doing so well in life. He doesn't want to upset his babies so he would like us to pretend to be married for the next 3 or 4 years until the girls are settled into college and out of the house. I was shocked and didn't know how to react. I said nothing. Now I can't look him or my children in the eyes. I'm not sure I can live this lie for years. I have prayed and prayed to God to give me strength and the FireProof movie keeps coming to my mind. I ordered the book and I guess I can do it numerous times in the next 4 years. Pray for me, I feel like I am cracking to pieces.
Carrie
4/28/2013
My husband and I have been married for 3 years and together for 7. I am 22 years old and he is 24 years old. We have a beautiful 1 year old son together. I want to start off by saying that I am very proud of what we have. We have been together since I was 15 years old and we have both only been intimate with one another... no one else... EVER! I feel that is something to be very proud of nowadays. I do not feel like we are falling out of love but I do feel like our relationship needs a lot of work, in a lot of ways. We just watched Fireproof for the very first time tonight and it spoke to me. I find that I am very disrespectful to him and I don't feel like I show him that I love him unconditionally. We have been together for so long that it feels like more of a friend relationship than an intimate relationship. I have decided to take the love dare and stick to it. I am not very good at sticking to things but I am making a vow to myself, my husband, and to God to keep going, even when it gets difficult.
I am also looking to this book to help me strengthen my relationship with God. I have strayed away from God and I know that I need to find my way back to him for not only my sake, but my marriage's sake and my child's sake.
I struggle with anger and impatience the most in my relationship. I really have a lot of confidence that this book will help me fix that and more and help me experience love the way God meant for love to be experienced.
Courtney
4/19/2013
My story started out 5 years ago long before i met my wife. Me and my father got in a fight about the way i was living my life and i ended it by telling him i don't believe in god. in the years that followed i had met my wife fell deeply in love with her, moved in with her and had a beautiful baby girl out of wedlock. That's when trouble began. She already has a little boy with another man and ever since we got together I have had trouble connecting with him, and that lack of connection turned into resentment over time. my daughter was born in may of 2012 and we were married in October of that year. though out all this my stepsons grandparents have accused me of abusing my step son several times. I have never and could never hurt a little boy like that. but march of 2013 was the third time they tried to accuse me and every time before then my wife knew the accusations were false. But this time they called her and told her that CPS was going to come and take my children away from me, which was also false. that night i came home from work to the shocking realization that she had taken our children and left me to go back to her parents. that night was the night when i accepted Jesus Christ into my heart. That Sunday i went to church with my parents and for the first time in my life i knelled before god and i begged him to forgive me for everything that i had done all the mistakes that i have made. however the weeks that followed my wife took out a restraining order on me on behalf of her son so i am not allowed to see him. the week after that through txt she told me that she still loves me with all of her heart and the week after that she got a new phone number so i would not be able to talk to her any more. with all of the weight of everything bearing down on me i cracked under the pressure. on April 3 2013 I tried to kill myself. I wrote several notes to my family and my wife saying that i could not bear the thought of never being able to hold my wife again of never being able to see my children again all because of lies. i left them on the kitchen floor and hung myself. The lord then spoke to me through my brother. He randomly showed up at my house just as i had jumped and saved my life. i was then committed to a mental facility for the next 5 days and my wife never even called to see if i was OK. it was here that I was able to receive help from many counselors and i was finally saw for the first time that i was not treating my wife the way i should have been. I was not showing her nearly enough affection and love i was lazy and selfish. i was released from the mental facility and it was about a week later when i decided to take the love dare. looking back I can see all the things that god was doing in my life and i am so thankful for everything. If my wife hadn't left me i would have never seen that i was not treating her and my stepson right by the way of god. I am on day 4 of the love dare now and this one is especially difficult for me because i am not allowed to talk to my wife. But i am looking to the future and i am hope full that god will do the work in my wife's heart to see us together again. through out this hole situation god has been at my side the hole time he never left me and never forsaken me even when i had given up all hope. And today he has given me a love for my wife that i have never felt before. but more importantly he has given me a love for my stepson that i never thought was possible. In the days that come i am hoping to see my wife when my parents pick up my daughter for my weekly visit and i hope to begin making amends to her and my stepson. I can only hope that god can show her that i am a changed man. a man that loves her and my stepson and one day i hope that she will move back in and allow me to adopt my stepson and that we can be a family through God.
A man must be broken before he can be molded.
Neil
4/17/2013
Honestly, I am 30 years old , I have been with my spouse on and off for 16 yrs. We had a son when we were 16 and broke up for 7 years and ended up getting back together. During our "breakup" I married someone else and had 2 more children. When we were 24/25 we reunited and decided our love was stronger than we had ever thought or known. 6 years and 1 more child, 1 affair and alot of lying and mistrust later we are still trying to make this work. Believe it or not we have been divorced for about 8 months, but it seems like we always come back together. I feel like this relationship is still worth saving and I pray for our family everyday and today I have decided that I am taking the dare. If you read this please pray for our family.
Shannan
4/14/2013
My husband and I have been married 4 years now. We got married in December of 2008, we were together only 4 months before we got married. We found out we were having a child together. After we had our son we made a promise that we would be with each other forever. I know we had fights over the bills, the stress of just being married, a child, and not having freedom. We began to yell, and fight all the time my husband would throw things and so would I when we got mad at each other. After our fights we would come to each other and say we need to change things so we don't fight, so we did and things were great. Then almost 2 1/2 years married we found out we were going to have our daughter we were happy to extend our family we felt blessed. During my time being pregnant I was getting feelings of some thing is not right with my husband. One day at 5am his phone got a text it was a woman that gave details on how there night was. after i saw this I went to him and said we are done, he then said a few words and then as i was packing to leave he said can we talk. we talked and we decided we were going to work this out. we have been working at our marriage for 2 years. Right before our 4 year anniversary my husband and I got into a fight he said he wanted a separation of course I didn't want that he packed and left a few weeks later my husband had papers sent to me for divorce. Back in February of this year we had reconnected a few times and felt like things were great and working. Then my husband would get in to moods if I asked a question or asked if we were going to work out our marriage or him moving back home. Then about a week ago my husband said he might come back. My husband the other day said he will not come back he sent me not so nice words on my phone. I talked to my friends and marriage counselor and they suggested to me this movie fireproof I was not thinking it was for me at first but when I sat down to watch the movie it made me see myself and my husband. It made me realize what I've done in the marriage I was just like her. I could not stop watching the movie I was thinking I wish he was here to watch it with me. My husband still says one day he wants the divorce and one day he doesn't but, our divorce papers are still out there and I really don't want to have a divorce I don't belive in divorce and watching this movie made me see that I don't want this and am going to take the dare and try to make this marriage work for us and for our children to become one and a family again I ll let you know how it goes
4/12/2013
I just want to see my husband. I miss him so much. I have put a lot of time into my faith over the last 9 weeks, but the pain stays just as fresh. We've not been out together in 8 days and it feels so much longer. I feel like he is running from our marriage. I have read so much about spiritual restoration of a marriage since the start of the year (2013), I am feeling over whelmed. I have no idea what to do. I am focusing on my patience and my spiritual walk. I know I cannot make choices for him, but it is so hard to wait. I know God is working on him, but I feel so lost while I wait. I have thrown myself into church, being willing to do anything to serve God while I wait. I am driving myself crazy, and then making myself mad at me for loosing focus, and then it starts all over. I feel like with everything I learn about me, I am being counterproductive because I have information overload. I am doing Our Daily Bread devotion, the Love Dare, and the Love Dare devotions. I have alarms set on my phone to remind me to pray five times a day. I read my bible once a day at least and I have bought two new bibles. I have completed all the love dares so far except the one on greeting him, but I haven’t seen him yet to do it. I started writing my testimony, a letter to our children, and a list of scriptures to focus on. All of this has helped me to endure the pain, but it just won’t go away. I have felt convictions for sins I have committed, have confessed them to God, and committed to repentance. I accept that I have a responsibility for failing to tend to my marriage as I should have and want to focus on what I can do to be better at being accountable as wife when I stand before God. I do not wish to place expectations upon my husband. I wish to expect God to love me unconditionally through my husband. I wish to expect God to love my husband unconditionally through me. I wish to have strength to endure this storm in my life. I do love my husband, but I love God more. I have not felt this in the past and I made my marriage an idol. My husband has his own behaviors that he will have to be accountable to God for. I cannot confess sins that are not mine, nor can I repent for them. I must live my life loving the Lord so that my husband will desire to seek the inter person of my heart. I want to be a Godly wife. I want a marriage that is restored on God’s terms and not anything that I can do. I want Brandon to come home, but when God brings him home, not when we choose. I pray for my husband to be safe and to make decisions that will lead to our restoration. I pray for Brandon to be blessed beyond his earthly desires. I let go of all my worldly desires. I desire what God has in store for me. I trust he knows what is ahead. I commit to following this pain through because there is no other plan in God’s will than for my marriage to be restored.
4/10/2013
Well I have been married for 15 years in which every year has come by through trial and error. I MUST SAY ALTHOUGH FIREPROOF IS a good movie It hurts me to watch it because it ia almost identical to the marriage I have minus the 40 day challenge. I had to leave and go to the bathroom and cry during the part of he internet, it hurts! I feel I have always tried my best to show acts of kindness without ever expecting anything in return but I truley hope this book will renew my love for my husband and help me get past these obstacles. I am by no means perfect and failed in the first years of our marriage but cried out to God for forgiveness but never did I think I would be lied to and well the movie explains most of it for every year of my marriage.How do I get past the hurt, the pain and move on throuhh the fire? I have no one to speak to about this except my Lord and Savior who has been a friend that sticketh closer than a brothet. I will try this book to help....just to makeme a better wife.
3/21/2013
I am married to my best friend and my life. We have been together for almost 3 years in August and married for almost 2 in October. I have made some mistakes in the past month by having a few affairs and I know I shouldn't of. We are separated for now, but he is allowing me to come and stay with him from time to time cause he loves my company. But then he makes me go home to my parents when he wants his free time. I agree that I messed up and I am blessed that he is allowing me to be around him or even to talk to him. I wasn't raised the way I acted. I should of known better. I remember watching Fireproof a few weeks ago thinking I hope my marriage never turns to that. Well it has cause of me. I am going to purchase the Love Dare today after class and start on it myself. I want to get back with my husband for good and prove to him that he is my rock and my life. I know its going to be a rough one. But I'm ready for it. Prayers will be amazing! <3
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