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8/29/2009
I was reading through the list of stories, trying to find one in my similar situation. Most of the couples have been together less than 10 years. They don't know what hurt is yet. Then I got to an entry on July 30. She said that they have dug such a big hole she doesn't know if they can ever get out. That is exactly how I feel.
I took my husband to see Fireproof when it was showing in the theater. I figured there would be no distractions and he had to watch. I was amazed at how much it touched him. He wiped tears from his eyes as we left the movie. I should have taken this moment to discuss our marriage, but he has never allowed me to discuss our relationship. But he did squeeze my hand ever so tight. Believe me this didn't last. We are right back where we started. He has now taken to threatening me with divorce when the children are out of school. We have 3 children left in school. For the past 24 years I have always been the one that has had to do all the work in our relationship, house, and children besides helping him to run our business. I am torn between doing the love challenge and just giving up. I truely believe that he is just a self centered person that is never going to change. I have threatened to leave several times before and he will change for about 2 days max, until he thinks that I am over what ever was bothering me and then he is the same selfish person.
But I truely believe that God ment for us to be together for some reason. Tomorrow is Sunday. Maybe I will start by making him go to church with me. He was raised in a church, but I know that he isn't a born again Christian. There is no way you can be and treat someone that you supposedly love the way he treats me. That is the falsehood about going to church, it doesn't automatically make you a Christian. If Christ lives in your heart there is no room for anger. My husbands anger has affected my relationship with Christ. That changes tomorrow.
8/27/2009
My husband and I have been together for seven years and married a little less than two. In the last year I have lost my job and have started working with him in his business. Our marriage was shaky before I started working with him but now after 6 months I am so drained. We do not even talk anymore, he comes home late and stays busy until I go to bed, and he seems to be avoiding me. Most the time I feel as small as an ant around him. I am depressed and tired. Today I was looking up how to get a divorce so I would know what I needed to take care of. I managed to figure out how to divide our belongings, financials, and started looking for a place for him to live. Tonight while I was doing school work he brought home the cash from the office and I went to put it away and saw one of my old bibles on the shelf. I did not think much of it at the time but then while doing research I clicked on the link I saved after watching the movie and have decided to take the love dare. I will be going to the store in the morning to get the book and will be starting day one. In a way I already feel relief in my heart. I know GOD does not want me to give up on my husband so I am going to use this tool to try to repair what we have messed up and make our marriage strong. Keep us in our prayers please.
Gretchen
8/26/2009
Its been over a week since my wife told me she wanted to leave me, We have been married for 3 years and together for almost 5,and i have always thought about our marriage being so special, we were in same class for over a year and never talked, then met in mechanics class, her being the oly girl in class and we ended up being partners, we were each others first, and when we were going out we used to always talk about the kids we wanted and even named them!!!!, we had talked about having a girl first, and when we moved in together, she got pregnant and IT WAS A GIRL.
We used to argue before we got married, everything started when she started hanging with her aunt, she used to call me and tell me it was over, then next day say sorry and back together, this kept going untill she told me she had cheated on me, I was devastaded to hear that, wanted to kill myself, but i forgave her because i love her so much.
After that we moved in together, got pregnant and had a beatifull baby girl.
we had seen the movie like 3 times before, and knew it was somewhat like our story but i never thought it would come to this,
she says i changed so much after our daughter was born, i wouldnt hold her,kiss her or show love for her, and stoped doing the things i used to do when we were going out, or just recently married. And yes i admit that i did change but not because i didnt love her, but there was a lot going on, i was the only one working and she was a high school student, i needed to provide her a car to go to school and pay for gas and insurance,
We never any debt before but after our daughter was born debt started piling up, and it put so much stress on me, everyday i had to think about how to get money to pay for rent or food, also pay her insurance and gas, and daycare, Im a janitor and dont make a fortune so this was so frustating, to this date, i still owe over 2.5k dollars, some for her college and some from things she wanted.
Right now she has a full time job and she said she is leaving me, i also found out that she started talking to a guy at work the very first day they met but didnt stop me from loving her, i dont think i can forgive her cheating on me again but i really dont wanna see my marriage end. Ever since she told me why she is leaving me i've been tryig to show her more love, hold her when we go place, hold her when we sleep, i try to do nice things for her but all she does is reject me, i've told her many time that i wanna go to counceling to make this work but she keeps talking about leaving and is on the computer frecuently looking for apartments for rent.
Just the last night she got mad at me because went out for a drive because i was tired of her rejecting, well she called but couldnt hear the phone because i had loud music, and when i came back home in about 45 mnutes she was gone, i tried calling her for about 20 minutes and she answered she said that she was going to sleep in the car at a park, today she is back home but things are still the same and just a few days ago she asked me if i would start trouble if she went out with other guy.
At this point it feels like i have tried everything and nothing is working, i feel like giving up but i love her so much, we have counseling today and hope that this will change things a little, im not asking for her to forgive me in 1 day, but take it slow and stay here, and everyday let me do something for her, show that i will be a different man i hope that this will work for us.
armando
8/26/2009
Don't ever give up. Keep the faith. Continue to pray for God's help and intervention. Just remember that sometimes you have to really look close at your own life and what you do and make sure you have prepared your own fields for when the rain comes from God.
I encourage you to watch "Facing the Giants" and you will understand what I mean. I know because I have always felt it is my wife's fault that our marriage has been on the brink of disaster and I thought I had done 100% of what I could, but really I hadn't prepared my own fields the way I should have to receive God's blessings. EVERYTHING is possible when God is in your life. Try not to consume yourself with trying to change the other person but to ask for God's help in making sure your own life is the way He wants it to be and God will take care of the rest.
Love,
Todd
Todd
8/24/2009
Me & My Husband just got married in February of this year, fireproof is just like our life except he isn't addicted to porn or looks at it, but we argue & don't understand each other. I have become closer to God & I can see him struggling to be. I just need everyone's prayers so that me & him will become closer, meanwhile I will continue to do the Love/dare.
Kristie
8/24/2009
My husband and I have been married for 3 and half years now but together for over 7 years. We were high school sweet hearts and have done very well so far for ourselves. We bought our first house at age 19 and have nice cars and so forth. However once all that was accomplished i still feel empty. Our Relationship is nothing like what it used to be like. For the past 3+ years I feel like im in a losing battle. I feel like I give 90% and he gives 10%. I have barley any self-confidence left and struggle with depression. We don't ever communicate and when we do its arguing or yelling at each other. He is not affectionate at all and i cant remember the last time i felt close to him. I feel very numb to our whole relationship right now and im very very confused. Im so tired of him not listening to me and I feel like im not asking that much of him...i just want him to love me and appreciate me and make me the most important thing in his life or at least feel like it and take care of me...be my husband where not in high school anymore. We don't have any children together and honestly im ready for the next phase of my life but am scared to have children with him. im not sure if we are going to work and don't want to put children thru that. He was raised in a very unemotional environment. His parents have the same issues we have in our marriage but the difference between us and them is im not settling. Where young and unhappy and life is to short. I love him with all my heart and don't want to give up but i have done about all I can. I have told him im done and given him several chances and nothing ever changes. he says he doesn't want to lose me and he loves me but doesn't show it or act like it. A few months later its back to the same thing and we are in the same boat once again. I feel very hopeless like this will never change and im not willing to accept that. I want my husband back and i just don't know if that will ever happen. Like I said i feel like im fighting a losing battle and am not willing to be unhappy the rest of my life. I feel we are both good people and deserve to be happy and if its not with each other then i guess so be it. I go out and other people notice and hit on me and I hate that i just want my husband to notice me! I was talking to my brother about this and he could hear all the hurt and pain and suggested this movie and the dare. He told me him and his wife did it and that was several months ago and that it really really helped there marriage and relationship. they to where on the verge of divorce and he said that it was to the point they couldn't even stand eachother. they had so much anger built up against eachother. they went to a marriage seminar and that's how they learned about these tools to help there marriage. There relationship is back to the way it was in the beginning. I honestly can tell a huge difference in their relationship so i am willing to try this and i hope and pray it works. I told my husband i don't know what else to do and we agreed to take this challenge and see what happens.......
Sheena
8/21/2009
My husband and I have been together for 13 years and married 10 years. Now with 3 small children we are not the same. I am honestly in love with him whole heartly. I do not fear for one minute he will ever cheat on me, or abuse me. We are both saved and attend church religously. Our biggest problem is communication. I feel as though we never talk and when we do it usually is about money, kids or other nonimportant issues. He is very reserved, quite, and calm. I on the other hand can talk to any one any where. I am very emotional, not needy but I just find meaning in situations he thinks are minimal. We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary in July and prior to that we have been really struggling, fighting about every little thing. I am always the one to approach the issues and talk about it. He works all the time, I am in college full-time and with 3 children it is very hard to find the time we need. I tell him probably 5 days a week that I miss him. I do, he use to be so interested in me and now I wonder why I even bother. We have taught about divorce and/or seperating, but I do not want that at all. I grew up with that life and I certainly do not want it for my children. I know with time couples loose each other and drift apart. I just worry that we are going to continue in this mundane cycle and loose each other to the point of no return. What drives me the maddest is that he feels like everything is fine. Well, he knows we argue and stuff but he just thinks it is normal, and I do get that everyone argues, but I want to be happy with him and he with me. I feel as though he is not happy but just going thru the motions. I am not willing to give up or walk away without trying, yet I would like to see him try harder to understand my feelings and concerns within our marriage. I guess if he was the one on this cite, making an effort I would be shocked, and I am not asking him to make a big deal about it, but just talk to me and be serious, sincere and romantic. I would like for us to be closer to each other and to God.
Ashley
8/3/2009
My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years. Our marriage has been wonderful except for the last year. My husband has started having a anger management issue and became verbally and physically abusive to me. I know I should leave, which is what most people would do, but I know that that person is not my husband. That is not the man I married and I refuse to believe that, and I will not give up on my marriage. I have decided to do the Love Dare and I know that through Christ my marriage will become new again. I husband wants to give up, but I am going to try to talk him out of it. We both go to church and we both have been saved. I feel like there are some evil spirits coming against him. We both take a active role and church and I feel like Satan is trying to get us to give up on the Lord. Well, that will never happen. I will always serve my Lord and God. I know that I have made a lot of mistakes in our marriage as well. We didn't start our marriage off serving God and we have never been ones to have great communication, but I know that we will learn and become one again. Please pray for my marriage and I will be praying for everyone else out there struggling to Fireproof their marriage.
HALEY
7/31/2009
WOW! Where do I even begin? My husband and I have been together for almost 6 years and married for 3 1/2 of them. After we were together for a little over a year I cheated on my husband. We were both working and rarely ever saw each other. I worked mornings and he worked nights. I started hanging out with a male friend who would give me rides home from work because I didn't have a driver's license and by the time I got out of work my husband was of course at work. I ended up moving out for about a month. Then one day he showed up while I was working, we talked things through and ended up getting back together. Since then we have gotten married and had 2 beautiful daughters. A little over a year ago I discovered my husband was looking at porn on the internet. I was completely crushed almost like he had cheated on me. He of course lied to me at first but then we got through it. He forgave me, so of course, I forgave him. A few weeks ago I did something I never ever thought I would ever do in my entire life. There really is no way to explain what was going on in my head or my life at the time to even compensate for my actions. I cheated on my husband again....with my female friend. I told my husband what happened and he was a lot calmer then I thought. I was for sure he was going to tell me to pack my stuff and get out. He just said "We can get through this, forgive and forget." We've been through alot in the last 6 years other then the cheating and porn but we have worked through every last bit of it TOGETHER! With everything that has happened we have left each other feeling little, worthless, unwanted, and unloved. We do love each other but it just feels like there is something missing in our marriage. I know what I am looking for from him but I don't know what it is he may or may not be looking for from me. I am scared to death that I am going to lose him. So, I have decided to try The Love Dare. We do believe in god but we are far from religious. We do not attend church or anything of religion.
Lost & Numb
7/30/2009
My husband and I have been together for over 23 years, married for 14. We have one child who is 9. I don't really know what happened to us - it seems that gradually we became more distant. We stopped being intimated about 3 years ago, my husband stopped desiring me. My husband has been watching porn for many years. How can the average women compete with that? I wish men would realize how devastating this type of behaviour is to the woman you claim to love. I told him in many different ways how lonely I was and that I missed him, but nothing seemed to matter. I wrote him letters, I spoke to him, I screamed at him, I gave him the silent treatment, I nagged him and said mean things to him - it's hard to be nice to someone who is breaking your heart. The only thing I didn't do was leave - but oh how I wanted to. I asked him many times if he was happy - he always told me yes, but he sure didn't seem happy; but nothing changed. We did not kiss, we did not hug, we barely touched each other. I would tense up and feel myself get angry as soon as he got home from work - I hadn't even spoken to him yet and I was ready to start a fight! He has been drinking more lately, which only makes me angrier and more abrasive. I finally gave him an ultimatum a couple of months ago - we go talk with a counsellor, or it's over. Of course, nothing changed during this time. I proceeded to contact a councellor and make an appointment. I ended up contacting the pastor that married us (how ironic) and told my husband that if he didn't go, he might as well pack his bags because I would no longer be his wife. There was no way I was going to leave the family home, when I wasn't the one who was being the ass! The pastor suggested a couple of things, and one of them was the movie Fireproof. That evening, I was channel surfing, and found that the movie Fireproof was going to be on one of the movie channels the following evening - talk about fate. My husband was out of town the following night, but I watched the movie anyway. It was unreal - it wasn't a mirror image of my marriage - but close enought that it hurt to watch it. I bawled through the entire movie because it was so hard to watch. We haven't really spoken about what the pastor talked about during our appointment, but I knew that my husband understood and "got it" when he kissed me goodbye before heading out of town - this was the first kiss (other than a brush of his lips) in a very long time. We have dug ourselves a very big hole that I am not sure we are capable of getting out of, but I do think we both want to - we will have to take it slow and be careful so we don't cause the walls to collapse on our way out. The next task is to get my husband to watch Fireproof and to start the 40 day love dare together.
7/30/2009
I have been married for almost 5 years now, but have known/dated my husband for 11 years. We have two amazing children! It is because of my children that I am trying to save my marriage. Our relationship has always been strong, but in the last 3 years, I feel like I am losing my partner. We are Christians and have tried to establish our marriage on the the Word of God, but nevertheless here I am...
Somewhere along the way, I feel like my husband has changed personalities. Instead of feeling like his partner, I feel like his punching bag (only definitely not physically). With life's frustrations, moments of anger, and sadness, I am the one that gets the blame. Don't get me wrong, I understand that there are times in a relationship that one person gives 90% and the other only 10%, but after 3 years of trudging through battle after battle, I am exhausted. I have tried being supportive in his career changes, even when it was going to uproot our entire family on a whim of an old dream. When that didn't work out, I still tried to be there by his side. I am exhausted at being at fault at the root of every small problem. When he goes off on his tangents of the things I have done wrong for the day, I try to stay quiet and ignore the comments. Unfortunately I can only handle so much and I end up fighting back and lashing out at him about everything I feel he does wrong. The worst thing is that our fights are usually in front of our 2 innocent children. I am horrified to think that our fights will taint our children forever; that they will lose everything innocent about them. I love my husband more than words can begin to say, but in the same breath...I can't take it much longer. I don't want my children to grow up with divorced parents, but I can't have them living in a house where Mommy and Daddy fight every day.
I have asked him to go to counseling, but to no avail. I have prayed relentlessly until I have felt like God is not listening or doesn't care. I am emotionally numb to him and this marriage. I think that if we didn't have kids, I would have left him 2 years ago. It makes me nauseas to think that a man I used to get weak in the knees about, is the same person I think might be better without him in my life. Once in a while we have good days and it gives me a ray of hope that this might be the day that our marriage gets on the right track.
My husband and I watched Fireproof in the theatre a while ago. We both felt like our lives were being displayed on screen to the world. Yet, we have never thought about doing The Love Dare. I have ordered The Love Dare in a last effort to salvage our marriage. I want our marriage to glorify the Lord. I want us to set an example of a strong Christian marriage, centered on God, for our children. Since God blessed me with my children, I constantly thank him for blessing me with them and I promise to God that by allowing me to be their mother, I will raise strong Christian people who constantly try to display the love of Christ to others. I am not keeping my promise by allowing my marriage to fall apart. I pray that after I finish The Love Dare, God changes our hearts and my husband and I figure out what a true Christian marriage can be.
Until then, I am just hanging on...
7/29/2009
I'm not married, but I have been with my girlfriend on and off for 4 years and we have an amazing 11 month old daughter. It FEELS like a marriage. I want it to be a marriage. But the problem is ME. Since we have been together I haven't given her my WHOLE heart. I have texted and emailed other women more times than I can count. Finally I was away from home for a month training for my upcoming deployment and she caught me doing it again. This time she said it was completely over. She doesn't love me anymore and wants to leave me. When I found out, I broke down completely. But luckily for me I was in the same tent as my chaplain. He suggested that I watch "Fireproof" I was skeptical at first but the experience was intense. It made me realize that I need to change and not just SAY I've changed. I'm going to do the dare, get back on the right track with GOD and hopefully through HIM her heart will open back up for me. Pray for us.
Dan
7/29/2009
I had a wonderful marriage, simple, joyful, caring, loving. Then alcohol entered the picture. Before we were married, I had gotten through treatment for this, went to AA meetings, and was clean and sober for almost 4 years (married 3 by then) and I thought that I had it beat. So I drank again. A couple months later, it was like I never stopped drinking. Blackouts, calling my husband to come pick me up off of some bar's restroom floor and we had enough. Back to treatment I went.
At this point in my life, God and I were not on speaking terms. I knew he was there, but was angry that he didn't save my first marriage and destined my children to come from a broken home. Besides, it was an excuse to go out and have fun when I was single. So now that I'm back in AA meetings and still doing treatment for alcoholism, a new addiction settled into my heart; sex addiction. Multiple experiences, risking my health, online chat rooms, cyber sex, web cams, lying to my husband, the list goes on. Then I was caught.
The first time, I swore it would never happen again but I had no intention of stopping. The second time I was caught, I swore it wouldn't happen again and that I think it might be an addiction and I tried to stop. But I couldn't. The third time was it. I was going to loose everything if I kept it up. Finally opened up communications with God and He saved me. I was able to get off the online places I used to hangout, ignored text messages I was getting from guys I was "dating" and I started atteneding 12 step meetings for sex addicts.
Wandering through the local Christian bookstore for books on addiction, I ran across Fireproof the DVD. Looked intersting, took it to the counter and the clerk told me about the love dare. Bought the movie and two love dare books. Took them home and explained it all to my husband. About a week later, we watched the movie. We were in tears and in each other's arms when it was over. We really wanted to put our marriage back together God's way.
Few days later, we started the love dare. Actually, it's quite challenging doing it together since you kind of know what's coming each day, but it has still been a wonderful experience. Today we are on Day 18 and wondering when we are going to find free time to have dinner together where we can talk. So we have the questions we know are coming in front of us and will be ready to understand and be understood when the time comes.
I'm an addict of many bad things and today, I spend a lot of time in 12-step meetings; both secular and Christ based. My husband spends alot of time in co-programs (al-anon, cosa, co-dependants, etc) and we know that this is something we'll have to do for the rest of our lives and it's OK. I found time to drink and date so now I spend an equal amount of effort on recovery. My husband had time to worry and snoop around my things trying to find something out so now he spens an equal amount of effort on recovery.
God saved my marriage and my life and Fireproof has been, yet another, wonderous gift from Him because He loves me.
Tammy
7/29/2009
Faith & Love Prevail
My spouse and I have known eachother since 1995 and been together since 1999. We were married in 2005. After many struggles, my spouse cheated within 8 months of our marriage with someone he worked with. He left and they were together for 3.5 years. I waited, begged, pleaded and prayed for him to come home for 2.5 years before I decided to start dating again. I ended up dating someone who had also been badly hurt and had a lot of baggage. I am half way to my retirement date and started this relationship with someone 9 years my senior and had two very small children from a previous marriage. While I was dreaming of retirement, he was still making their meals and bathing them. I had known this person for as many years as I knew my spouse. I still let him move in with much reservation but not knowing what else to do than to accept what I thought God had brought into my life. I was miserable without my husband! We had divorced and gotten re-married 1.5 years later only for him to leave me again 18 days later for that same woman! So I was devistated and lost! I thought God had brought this other person to me and that was where I was supposed to be. I never stopped loving and missing my husband and everyone knew it and saw it clearly! Unfair to my new beau, but I couldn't help myself! I never gave up on my spouse and he knew it. We would talk from time to time. He saw me one day with the new guy, whom he also knew....it changed something inside him because he was seriously pursuing his coming home after that. I told him no for a good 5 months. It killed me inside! But I had the other people to consider and he needed to know that he wasn't just going to waltz back in and destroy my life again! God finally got through to me that I had to respect myself before my husband ever would! Well, after 3.5 years of being apart, back together, apart....blah, blah, blah; he has been home now for 6 months and things are looking up. He is working at earning my and his step-sons trust back and we go to church (although not as regular as I would like) and he lets me look at his phone and e-mail if the mood strikes me. He also set up counseling at my request. He has not missed one appointment! I have learned one thing for sure, if a man isn't into the relationship, he won't do ANYTHING you suggest! We ALL go through phases in life. If you truly want your relationship to work, you must give all you have until you are completely exhausted; never complain and never view it as work, it is a labor of love. Labors of Love are never daunting, aggrivating, or painful. You are a special person that deserves the Love and Respect that you give. Do you know why? Because God thought you were special enough to be born and strong enough to prove your Love for him, so why wouldn't you think as much of yourself?
I am not saying all relationships will work, or even mine will. I am however saying to believe in the power of Love, Prayer & with God all things are possible. Some people come into our lives so we can teach them or they have a lesson to teach us. Some people are taken from our lives either because they didn't deserve us, or we were wrong in how we treated them and need to learn before we deserve them.
Keep your faith and God Speed!
7/27/2009
My husband and I have been married for 5 years. We married after only a month and half. Things seemed to be going great until I got him flirting on the computer. He said he'd never do it again. On our one year anniversary, another woman called asking for him. I later found out he was telling her I was just a roommate and he loved her. Again, I believed him when he said he'd change. The next thing happened, he came home on leave and was texting like crazy. He told me it was one of his guy friends, but he'd never let me near his phone. Since mine had died, he eventually let me borrow his to call my mom. The woman texted while I was using the phone, when I confronted him, he came clean. This last straw was we moved to another duty station. A month after he started back to work, the whole texting thing started. We agured like crazy. He would text her (on my cell since I was still looking for a job and at home) late at night, when I wasn't around, when he thought I wasn't looking. Finallly I confronted him and he told me he wanted a divorce. I begged and pleaded with him not to do this to us. He said he'd try one more time and that was it. This past weekend he didn't come home until nearly 10pm then he showered and change saying he was going for a drive. I couldn't take it. I knew he was going to her, but I didn't have proof, only my instincts. He came home around 2 am. I called the cell phone repeatly but he never answered. Finally, yesterday, after I read a text he sent her saying how he loves her, calling her sweetheart saying he can't wait to see her again, I called her and asked what is going on between her and my husband she replied I should ask him. I confronted my husband, but instead of yelling at me and telling me he's not cheating, he sat there while I told him everything. He swears it just a friendship, but if it was, he would've never hidden it from me. He would have wanted me to know about her and to meet her and he would've respected my feelings regarding her. I brought the love dare for him, but it collects dust. I unpacked it today and wondered if I can do this. We're in the process of going through fertility treatments and adopting. I take care of him, our home, our dogs, bills, cook, clean everything. All I wanted from him is love, devotion, honesty, and loyalty. He even refuses to go to church. He says he feels like he's on fire when he goes. I'm numb, I don't feel much anymore. I've stopped eating, I was diagnosed with severe mood depression and mild panic attacks. My hair is falling out and I no longer sleep. I've been praying that God will show me what to do, that he'll lead me in the right place and that he'll open my husband's heart. I've hardened myself against my husband, out of fear of my emotional state, but now we are two strangers. I start day one of the love dare today, because despite all he's done, I do love my husband and I want our marriage to work. He deploys again so it'll make things a little harder, but I hope he'll accept Christ into his life and continue to work with me to work on our marriage.
7/27/2009
It has been 57 day since my wife told me that she does not love me any more, I am still giving our marrage 100%, but I'm growing tired of not getting any response. We are in counciling, And I am doing the love dare. I am not a very church going guy, but I find myself reading the book more and more. I also have been praying alot! I feel something, maybe it is faith.
She said that we grow apart, but since she told me, she is the one that is not trying, maybe she needs more time. But when that time comes maybe I will be the one that has lost faith in the marrage. I pray not! Everyday that goes by is a day wasted, If she really wants to try I wish she would start, and not lead me on.
I have done alot of thinking about my situation and If things go bad, I would have failed my kids as a parent. As a parent we are suppose to protect your kids, this is not protecting them, this is failing them. But I know that if this does not work out I will have given this 120% and in my heart I tryed.
7/27/2009
I had a really good marriage. I heard from friends and family how they wished they had what we had. My husband was my best friend. I feel in love with him when I was 13 he was my best friends older brother nothing came of it until I was 17. After living together for eight years and having two kids we got married. Everything was great. Then one day it all changed an old girlfriend looked him up on the internet. He knew how I felt about her it was his first love need I say more. He had letters under his bed from her when I moved in with him. I was not comfortable about the whole thing. We started fighting and one night when in bed he told me that he had sex with another women before we got married my whole world just feel down around me. I did not know what to do. We went and talked to someone but things are still just not the same and I miss us. So I am doing the 40 day love dare.
7/24/2009
Well my story is a lot like others. I thought I had everything. A beautiful wife, two loving children. What more could I want. Three months ago when my wife went away on a weekend away for the two of us she told me she was leaving me. She was not in love anymore. This was after almost 14 years of marriage. She also told me she does not know if she was ever in love. We had allready watched the movie, and I bought the book and completed the dare. It's been three months since she told me she was leaving and she did not leave and now tells me she has no intention of leaving.
I know that there still will be difficulties, however what I can say is to do the dares. Don't do it for your husband or wife. Do it for yourself. It takes two people to make a marriage and if you leave it to the Lord he will help you. Some days I was ready to give up, and some days I still wonder where he is leading me. I feel better about myself after completing the dares. It improved me and my outlook on life which in turn showed my wife the true person I really was. I was always there but due to kids, job, money I moved away from the person that she fell in love with.
I forgot to show her love and I believe that is why she wanted to leave me. I was so shocked from her words I showered her with love and pushed her furthur away. I could not believe it. It was not until I started to love the lord more and give myself to the lord that I began to understand what was happening. I became a better person (not that I was that bad) but I learned how to be a better person. This in turn has shown my wife the husband I can really be.
Things are still uncertain at home, but they are headed in the right direction. For everyone who feels lost just take it one day at a time and leave it in the lords hands. Don't give up halfway thru. Follow thru with the whole book and leave everything in the Lord's hands. He will lead you where he wants you to go. It may not make sense today or tomorrow but one day you will understand.
I'm not sure where my story is going to end up. I would like to grow old with my wife if that is what the lord wants. I will continue to enjoy what I have now and see what the lord has instore for my family.
7/19/2009
My husband and I have been together for 9 years and we have 3 children. I feel as though I am and have been losing him to the world, he enjoys the "party" life too much and it has definately affected our family and I am guilty of putting others before him. I love him and I know that he loves me, we decided to seperate and see where things end up. We both come from divorced homes and I would love for this marriage to be saved. I am praying for my husband's salvation and for God to restore our love and marriage, for us and our children. My relationship with Christ has grown thru prayer and his Holy word, I am learning to put God first and I feel a tremendous amount of peace in doing so. I feel that God has led me to the 40 Day Love Dare and I have faith that God's will be done and everything will be for his GLORY! It is not easy and so far have not gotten any positive response from my husband but I am committed to completing the Dare and I am reminded of the end results that Christ wins and the enemy is DEFEATED! I am encouraged by the song from the movie Fireproof "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller. I have faith that we together will be giving a PRAISE report! So may God's will be done for all his honor and glory!
7/18/2009
My husband and I have been together for about 10 years and have been married for almost 4 years. In the beginning of our relationship he cheated on my and told me that he did and he was sorry. About 5 years later we had kids (twin boys) and were about to get married when they were going to be about 2 years old he cheated on me again and this time he gave me herpes, I wanted to literally kill him but I loved him and had kids involved now and was engaged to marry him in about 6 months. I went on with the marriage and forgave him and he said he would never ever do that to me again. So about a year later we had another child my son who will now be 3 and its been so hard to trust him because it just seems that those old bad habits of hanging out with his friends late and not coming home until late morning has started again. I think once again he is cheating and believe that just a few days ago he has. We have lately been fighting because he smokes marijuana on a regular basis and believes it is not doing anything to the way he has been acting. Lately withing the past 4 or 5 years we have been almost pretty much physically fighting like there is no tomorrow in front of our children with weapons and everything that you can think of. Thank God that no one has been fatally hurt or wounded to where our anger has taken over to hurt each other permanently but its getting there it seems closer and closer the further apart we get. I am the christian in my family meaning I make it a priority for us to go to church and he goes but goes for just the music not necessarily to get a word from God (at least that is what I think). Its been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life is to be with a man that I love and know he loves me but just have been making so many bad decisions its destroying our marriage and our family. I am up to my witts with trying to make it work and be the good mother, wife and friend to everyone who needs me. I have been praying like there is no tomorrow for an answer from God that hopefully comes soon enough for me to make the biggest decision in my life to either divorce him or stay with him and make it work for the sake of our family. I am crying out to God to show me the way to to be that better person for everyone including myself and God. I don't know what else to do other than pray that I get a break through so that this either works or it fails and I know the Lord doesn't want it to fail because we wouldn't have made it this far. So if the Lord has a plan for me I am willing to do anything and everything it takes to do God's will. So if there is anyone out there that can relate or even give me some indication on what I need to do, please do so.
I aM nOt AsHaMeD oF gOd
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