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9/22/2011
my life has fallen apart. i was fired from my job a year and a half ago. it was a great job, good money, nice perks. all gone. at age 53 recruiters were telling i was "too seasoned", hiring managers told me i had too much experience, not the right experience, a myriad of answers. depression quickly set in. i was worthless and sad. the doctor prescribed some medication for anxiety.
a year in my wife secured a job. not making enough to pay the bills but i was getting unemployment. that was shameful in itself. i never tapped that before in my life and never thought i would. one day my wife calls and asks, "when does the unemployment run out?" i thought it was 99 weeks. in our state it was 72 weeks. she then told me she was done with me. we had two weeks left on unemployment, she wanted me out of the house.
that was a few weeks ago. she won't even look at me or pretend to be civil. i signed on with a couple of temp agencies and have gotten next to nothing out of those. i've taken a job selling advertising for a local weekly penny saver type publication. it's straight commission, no draw, and i made all of $22.00 this week.
she is going away this weekend, leaving me with our two kids. she won't tell me where she's going. i think she's got something with someone else. she kicked me out of the bedroom and i can hear her in there late at night having laughing and smooth talking cell phone conversations.
today was the 5th day of the love dare for me. her response was i was six months too late. and she's right. i moped around the house, mr. pitiful, nobody wants me. i brought nothing in. i did try a few things, but nothing worked out and i spent more money advertising my services than i made.
this really effects one's faith in God. i have for months, years asked The Father to bless my family, to help me to be a stronger man but my pleas seem to fall on deaf ears. i ask in the name of Jesus Christ, i pray constantly, read scripture and some times i just wonder why? is it all just a bunch of crap and lies?
i love my wife, even though she wishes i were dead. i can't imagine why God won't give me a hand. i have been trying so hard to find a better job. sending out resume, cold calling companies. i've made more calls in the last few weeks than i made in years as a corporate sales manager. she want me gone.
again, i love my wife. i took a vow to love and cherish her and as i look through her eyes i was a selfish son of a bitch who lost a job, lost all our money, is not a decent role model for our children and is basically a lazy, good for nothing bum.
i love my children and don't want them to have to live with this. i don't want to give the devil another divorce. he must relish them likes pelts on a tropy wall.
i have to sell my car and now i don't know how i'll do the ad sales gig. i have to sell most everything i own. i am officially worth more dead than alive as long as i keep up the payments on the life insurance policy. i was laying on the floor last night (remember i don't get to sleep in the bed anymore) thinking maybe God just wants me to kill myself. that i am a waste of a human being.
oh, and if you think i'm a wuss for sleeping on the floor, she has already been to an attorney (two nights ago) now i'll have to consult with one, we live in a state where the woman gets her way in divorce proceedings. we live in the house i owned for a number of years before i met her. she'll get that. she'll get the kids and everything else. she has turned into a viper.
and yet, i want to heal my marriage. i pray that she finds comfort, peace, confidence and joy each day. so far all she's finding is more hatred for me.
i'll do the love dare thing again tomorrow. not expecting much. a bit pessimistic i know and i'm trying to focus on what i want God to bless me with rather than what i expect to happen. it's a mind set thing.
please keep me in your prayers. save my marriage, save my family, keep us healthy and safe. keep us together as a family. i ask in the name of Jesus Christ that Father, you bring abundant blessing to my family and let us live in love for each other and to each other.
love to anyone who read this and to all who don't.
sean
9/21/2011
My husband and I have been together for 15 years, married for 7. I always had this intense love for him, always thinking this would be forever. I always felt like I loved him more but was still shocked when I found out he was cheating. We separated and not the much later came back together. In 2002 I got pregnant with my first daughter. Things were good, we bought our first home, and he had a good job. In 2004 I got pregnant with my second daughter. We got married shortly after finding this out. In 2007 My husband was layed off because his company was moving. Soon after that the problems started. He would go out with friend without us, made a trip out to see family on his own. And just generally making distance. Well I started check cell phone bills, and asking questions. Things were really bad emotionally for me. So before I could find out about another affair I asked him to move out. He made his best attempt to sugar coat things and made his way back home. Not long after this happen I found a love letter hidden in his car. Heart broken and devastated I kicked him out. We were then separated for a year and a half. And it was a year and a half later when I was finally ready to move on without him. We were going to get a divorce somthing we both agreed on. When one evening after have the kids he said he wanted to talk. I wanted nothing to do with that. I was just starting to seeing a nice guy from work and thing were becoming a new normal for me and my girls. I had never seen my husband cry like he did that night. Things were good between us for a long time and are now starting to take a turn for the worse. So I going to do THE LOVE DARE on my husband to save my marriage.
9/18/2011
My boyfriend and I haven been together for six months. He has three grown children from a previous marriage, and I have one child from a previous relationship, whom the father is not involved.
My boyfriend is a wonderful Christian man, who teaches me many things. I've thought I was a faith-filled woman but I have had much to learn. So when he asked me to watch FIREPROOF with him I just bawled, mostly because of the salvation I have been seeking. What the hard part is God has placed on my heart to let him go and just be. Probably because of the sick control issues that I now see I have within (he's not perfect in that category either and aware) and the nice thing is we are open, communicative and work on things together. But I don't know why God said let him go. I'm not sure if that means permanently or not.
But I do know that I can see the work that needs to be done in me. I am on Day One of the Love Dare and let me tell you, I thought I got this one down ... boy, I don't know about this. I have much to learn. It really isn't about me, and I thought I wasn't selfish. Biting my tongue today - whew.
I'm not sure how this will help us because there is a whole host of things going on in his life, include an ex-wife and kids who he seems to jump when they say so. Not healthy for me, so in that regard, I feel like the Love Dare is giving me some space and a reprieve, as odd as that may sound.
I have been praying for him ... for his well-being, from a genuine place of love with no conditions.
Who knows where this will go ... I read the other message boards and hear how much they want the relationship saved. I guess I have been uncertain because of 1) my "stuff" getting in the way, which I'm now working with the Lord to remove and 2) his baggages and ex-stuff. I think if I knew I could really know he was there I'd be okay to feel safe to love again.
9/14/2011
Me and my wife have been together for 3.5 years and married for 1 year. She has told me that I have control issues. I want nothing more but for my marriage to work out and be old with her. So we tried a lot of stuff and then I devoted myself to do this love dare. I am on day 5 now and I think I can tell a difference. I haven't said or did anything negative to her and I feel that I am being a better husband. I think she can see something different about me but she doesn't know what it is. Wish me luck and I am going to pray to God that he will lift us upon his hand and walk us down a path of love and give us what we deserve in life. I know she loves me and she knows I love her but I can admit that I probably have been a hard guy to get along with. Being 5 days into the Love Dare, I can already see a big change in myself and I like the new me. May Jesus be with me on this journey as I try to save what means the most to me.
Chris
9/12/2011
My husband & I have been together since October 1995, married since September 1999. We have 5 kids together. In 2005 I found out he was having an affair. He moved out & the affair lasted for about a year. From 2006 to 2008 we both were pretty wishy-washy on the marriage, not knowing if we wanted to be with the other or what. At that time he was living in his own place & we tried to reconcile. We ended up having baby #5 in 2009 but things were not going well & we split back up. After another year of separation I was ready to file for divorce even though I didn't want it. Just as I was getting ready to go to my appointment with legal aid he came to me begging for another chance.
That was last fall. We are still working on our marriage. Things are not how we imagined they would be & we want to improve our marriage. I thought maybe doing The Love Dare would show him that I am willing to do whatever it takes to be with him. And I hope he would do the same for me.
Dawn
9/11/2011
My partner and I have been together for nine years. We have had a difficult journey these past few years. He has struggled with severe anxiety, dishonesty, and behavioral addiction. I have spent the past few years trying to help him, but mostly communicating anger at his failings. I got angrier and angrier. He got sicker and sicker. I thought it was all his fault. We took a leap of faith and started planning a wedding this past spring and signed a lease together for August. By July he had called off the wedding. In August he started new treatment, finally got his anxiety under control, and ten days after moving in, told him he hadn't loved me for years and needed to move out.
At essentially the same time, I had an awakening. Suddenly, I felt peace and forgiveness, unconditional love and appreciation. I woke up and realized how damaging my behavior had been. I wasted years shining a blinding spot light on his struggles with such focus, I missed the beautiful garden blooming all around me.
In the month since he announced his intention to leave me, move out, and never talk again, he has stayed, but keeps expressing the same things. I had seen Fireproof about a year ago and held a long fantasy that he would do The Love Dare for me to make up for all his failings. I was blind to all the hurt I was causing. I picked up The Love Dare and started doing it on him. Nothing has changed in his heart yet, but I am going to push myself to reveal the truth of mine. I love him unconditionally, and I want no one but him for the rest of my life.
Michelle
9/6/2011
Well like so many others I just watched fireproof last night and I loved it. My now EX girlfriend had been trying to get me to watch it for awhile guess I put it on the back burner too late because she broke up with me that night over the fighting and flirting that i've done. I'm 21 and I don't think this girls the one I know she is, I mean do you remember when you first started dating your spouse and you got dressed up and were on your best behavior because if you weren't then you'd lose a point. Well shes that girl I was always well groomed even stepped up like a man to ask her dad if I could date his daughter which is huge. So she doesn't know i'm doing the 40 day love dare and I won't see her for 4 months because of my internship so my goal is to grow in that time as a man and let it be in gods hands because ultimatly shes still mine to lose. If anyone who reads this wouldn't mind praying for growth in me and her, and that she would open her eyes that I am the guy for her it just took me losing something to realize what I had the whole time. Thanks and god bless.
Cedric
9/5/2011
My husband and I are together for 9 years and 4 of those years as a married couple. It is my first wedding and his second. He has a son out of his first marriage and I have a daughter. We don't have children together, as it is already a mixed family. My husband and I are struggling to get two things right at this moment in time and that is to communicate with positive affirmation and secondly is there a huge lack of affection. This is really the Fireproof stuff going wrong. Realising the impact has it brought be to a place where decisions needs to be made. We are going to make it or break it.
I’m going to do the 40 day Love Dare to ensure that I have done all to save my marriage.
I hope that all who is having difficulties with their loved once that God will put a hand in each situation to ensure a positive outcome at the end.
8/29/2011
My husband and I will be married for 15 years in February 2011. It began as such a beautiful fairy tale as most marriages do. We have three beautiful children, 2 of our own and one he had with a young lady before we met. In a nutshell, we have been arguing at least 3 to 4 times a week about soooo many different things. He feels one way. I feel another way. I don't he's trying to please me and he doesn't think I'm trying to please him. Sooo much has happened between the two of us. Around our 6th or 7th year of marriage, he began having online affairs and into pornography, which made me feel like "What was wrong with me?" After that, he began going out all times at night until 2 - 3am in the morning. We have both been very strong Christians, knowing God and dedicated to him; helping others in the church, and just everyone looked up to us as this ideal, million dollar family. A year or so later, I actually caught him on our anniversary night (finding out that he was actually having an affair with someone).. I was completely devastated and didn't know if I could continue life. However, I knew I had to for my little girl and boy. Somehow, I was told that if I tried to leave him, I would have to learn someone else all over again, and I didn't want another man helping to raise my daughter and I needed to try and make it work. Through devastation, I continued in the marriage and began trying. It was NOT an easy road. How do you heal from something like that. We didn't go through counseling, and if you just put a bandaid on an open wound without any healing aids, it becomes infected. I think I became bitter and infected, and years later, that what he done to me, I did to him. I had 4 affairs on him, however, I didn't tell him until we recently went to counseling, after I was caught, about 2 years ago. Now, it seems like he can never forgive me because he says he feels he is always being compared to the other guys; and I'm saying that he doesn't treat me like he treats everyone else, or communicate with me or show concern about my feelings. We seem like we are just stuck, and we don't know what to do. I love him, and I think he loves me to; but the arguing is sooo frustrating and the being stuck, the lack of communication..... I resorted to the Love Dare because God placed it on my heart, and I pray to God that this begins a change in me and my marriage.
8/23/2011
I have been in a relationship with my partner for 6 years as of yesterday. Neither of us is innocent and I am truly to blame for most of the issues that we have. I have some how become this bitter, hateful person and justified in many more ways than one. Sunday we went to OUR church where we haven't been for a while, due to work or taking the kids to sunday school at my partner's mother's church. For whatever reason we did. The pastor there has to be one of the most interesting,funny, helpful people in the world. I always get the feeling that he is speaking directly to me when he gives his sermon. This week it was "what's in a name?" lately, my name has meant mean and hateful to everyone.. Lately, as in the past 5 years. I guess I let...well everything get the best of me...For the last 2 years my partner has wanted to give up to find happiness. Can't place blame there can I? The thing is I really do want to change. I want to make my life happy and fun again, Did I mention there are also 3 kids in the mix? They can't take the fighting and arguing anymore either. In an effort to save what's left of my relationship so that we may get married I am going to try the 40 day love dare. I am currently on Day 2. Gotta start somewhere I guess. Yesterday didn't go as well as I planned at all...Hopefully with lots of prayer today goes much differently.Good luck to everyone that decides join this venture.. There really is peace and love for everyone, it's just commiting to finding it...I am thinking positively and turning to GOD because ultimately that is the only PERSON that can ever HELP any of us in the truest meaning of the word.We surely need it to..Good luck and my prayers are with you all...
Jessica
8/17/2011
I have been married with my wife for 18 years. Have two beautiful kids. Upon discovering my wife's online affair, I struggled for just over two months as she attempted to continue it with several secret email accounts and facebook. After researching many, many web sites dealing with this topic and trying several things, which didn't work, I settled on the Love Dare. I'm on day 4. I'm feeling a change in me already. She's looking at me a little strange as if to say, "What's happened to you?". I'm really working hard and hoping/praying everyday that Jesus Christ will help us save our marriage. It is soooo difficult to deal with this hurt. No web sites can heal this type of hurt. That's why I turned to Jesus. Hoping he hears my prayers and strengthens our marriage.
8/12/2011
So my husband and I will be sharing our 5th year anniversary on the 16th, and things have gone so downhill... I don't think he loves me anymore.. He's told me numerous times he's not attracted to me (due to my weight) we have two beautiful boys which are no longer in the home because my oldest (3 yrs) snuck out of the house twice in two weeks and the second time they removed them... but even before all this happened, we fight alot, I don't get a say most of the time because he "just doesn't want to hear it" he gets in my face, he's been nasty a few times.. He gets mad really easily over small things, his temper is crazy horrible, and I literally walk on eggshells around him to keep him from getting mad. He's rather controlling most of the time... and I uses my fears against me ( like telling me he's leaving, or he wants a divorce) just to get me to shut up and leave him alone... he can't fess up to anything he does wrong, when he does do something wrong, he hides it and if he's caught he blames it on me... I just feel like there is no hope for us anymore.... so yesterday I was talking on the phone to the most amazing person in the world (my loving sister) and she told me I needed to sit down and watch "Fireproof" so I did, I laughed and cried, and laughed some more, and I decided to look up this Love Dare book, and I'm on day two.. I hope this works and we can get better, during our first year of marriage, he was a dream come true... the sweetest most non violent person in the world... where is he? Where is that man again? Please Love Dare, bring the man I chased off home again... :)
Heather
7/18/2011
To those who are doing this challenge separated in separate households, don't giveup hope. I am doing the same thing. It's not easy, by an means but still possible. Please take this challenge with me and let me know where you are 40 days later, as I will with you.
I have been married 5 years, dated my spouse 6 and we have 2 children together. I left our marriage for what I felt at the time were legitimate reasons and now I know through God's word that I have made a mistake.. I believe if I had seen this movie before, I still would be there. Now I feel as though I need to be back, but am unsure if he will take me back. It's funny how life works. I bought the movie recently, but have not watched it because it brings so much pain to the forefornt. It's like my life lived out on screen, with the exception of me being the one interested in someone else, it was the other way around. None the less, my husbands Mom is now battling a terminal illness, that I pray God will heal her from. But in the end I pray God prevails over all.
Sherika
7/18/2011
my husband and i have been married for 16 yrs and have 3 beautiful kids together.he has cheated 2 times since we have been together the first time i was able to forgive and got him to fall back inlove with me all over again..this time he has been seeing her since december but i am having trouble forgiving this time around and have lost my way..its like i dont know who i am anymore..i cant walk out the door because i love him with all my heart and he wont leave because he says he still loves me and wants me to treat him like this woman does
i am going to try the 40 day love dare and hope it works for us like it has for others..i couldnt stand to lose him to someone else just because i didnt have the committment to put him first for a change and finish what i started! i dont know how i became such a bitter person i remind myself of kirk cameron who plays in fireproof and have treated my spouse poorly and he doesnt deserve any of it..i am ready to change and become a better person because my spouse is worth it and my family is worth it to make this commitment!!
susan
7/15/2011
My husband and I have been married for 6 months. He has been married before and has a 4 yr old daughter, I have never been married and have a 4 yr old daughter, we have a 6 month old daughter together. His ex wife is causing a lot of problems and at his point I'm not sure our marriage is going to make it. I took a vow before God to be with this man for better or worse and that is why I'm going to do the love dare. Hoping it saves my marriage and gives me a better understanding of what my role is.
Janice
7/8/2011
My husband And I have been married for a little over a month. But we've been together over He 3years with a 14 month old son. We havent had the "perfect relationship." He cheated on me about 6months into our relationship and it was horrible. I never could forgive it, even after having our son....I honestly dont think that even after we got married that I let it go. Until tonight. We watched Fireproof together . I had heard a lot of good things about it since its about marriage , and since my husbands going to school to be a firefighter. But I didn't realize the impact It would Have on Us . I see our marriage in a completely new light . I was able to look at my husband and tell him the Truth about what I felt about his unfaithfullness, and that I had not forgiven him because I was unintentionally trying to hold a grudge, or to
have something to put over his head, but after watching fireproof...I forgave him. "Fireproof" has made me not just think, But KNOW without a shadow of doubt, That We're Fireproof.
Shauna
7/5/2011
I have been with my wife for 3 years. 1 year being married. I was the one that realized our marriage was going down the drain. I cheated, I lied and most of all i denied my wife.we have three beautiful kids together. So me and the wife been having a extremely hard time keeping it togeher, i fell out of gods way began putting other things ahead of god and my family. I was falling into a never ending pit. Just yesterday my wife tells me that she does not wanna be with me because of all i been putting her through. Bam big big slap in my face, I felt like my whole world was ending. I prayed and prayed to god to show me something to help me get back on the right track. Then i remembered the movie fireproof. Awesome awesome movie, it tells the truth about the world today. So many people choose to just give up instead of fighting through the hard time. I began day one yesterday and to my surprise my wife actually sit and listened to waht i had to say. I know its only been one day but i got this sense of comfort and i feel like it will work 100% i got a feeling that god is backing me on this one. so as soon as i get the 40 days done i will post how it went. please pray for me and my wife. god bless
justin
7/1/2011
I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now, but he and I might as well be married, because we promised to each other and to God that we would stay together and get married. We love each other so much, but the entire relationship has been rocky, and it seems that whenever things start to improve, they go downhill again. We always make it through the hard times, but it does make it harder. I just want less stress in my relationship, and I want to know that we can be truly happy, so I'm going to take the dare. I'm hoping that, with a lot of prayer and a lot of work, I can get us where we need to be. :)
Sarah
6/30/2011
My husband and I have been married for a year been together for a few. On saturday, I left our home with our 6 month old. I saw FIREPROOF years ago and purchased it last night on itunes. I thought to myself here we go better now than ever. Going to the store later to purchase the book, tomorrow will be day one. I grew up christian and have lost my faith along the way, at 25 I have realized I need to find my way back. Wish me luck on my journey and my marriage, tomorrow is a new day tomorrow is a new beginning...Praying it works for us.
Melanie
Melanie
6/29/2011
My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We watched Fireproof shortly after the movie came out and then bought The Love Dare. We started it twice and never continued. This is our third time, and this time we have made a commitment as part of our 10th wedding anniversary gift to one another ~ to commit to do The Love Dare, to finish what we have begun!
So today is Day 3 for us, and I have to admit that I am impressed with my husband's patience and kindness in loving me. He has been more affectionate and verbally affirming, even though these have not been a part of the first two dares. Still he knows that my primary love language is verbal affirmation, and my second is a tie between quality time and physical touch. "Teddy" has also been getting up earlier in the mornings to be with me more, and I just notice his general, overall increase in attentiveness toward me.
While I confess that I have fallen short on my end in the Day 2 Kindness Dare in the helpfulness and initiative categories, the Lord has convicted me deeply of my tendency to take my beloved for granted. Today I am deeply recommitted to this Love Dare and to giving my all to my wonderful husband with the help of my Lord Jesus! What I cannot do myself, I know that He can do through the power of His transforming Holy Spirit Who indwells me, and I am excited and raring to go! It is only 6:54 AM here, but I cannot wait for my husband to get up so I can begin loving on him! In the meantime, I am going to massage him while he sleeps, for his primary love language is physical touch! And I am longing to make up for my let-down in patience yesterday.
God bless all of you who are walking this walk! I pray this is a blessing for your marriage, and that the Lord blesses you richly as a couple. Keep the faith, and know that you are being covered in prayer! We are one family in the Lord Jesus!
Brenda
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