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2/27/2012
I've been married for 20 years. Our daughters are 13 and 17.. My husband and I have grown apart. We do not say "I love you" for many years now... We are co-habitating. We both have had an emotional affair...His in 2005. Mine ended last week..
I want to love, and feel loved. I don't want to hurt my girls. I want them to have a good example, before its too late.
I don't feel any love toward my husband, altho' I do not want to hurt him, or damage him in any way...I have severed all ties with the person I was emotionally involved with, and FEEL love toward..Im hurting, but trying to DO the right thing..My husband does not know about the affair.. He suspects, Im sure.. I voluntarily changed cell/home number, and Im making myself accountable to him about time and finances w/o him asking me too..
I'm on Day 1 of the Love Dare... I dont feel anything towards my husband but I can be patient, as thats the first assignment ... I am doing this NOT because I 'feel' like it, NOT because im 'scared' of losing him, but solely because Im trying to DO whats right...
We only have so much more time before our girls are grown, and in a blink of an eye they will be on to their own lives.... for one, what kind of example have we passed down to them? and for two, who is this man I share a life with? I dont know him anymore... I hope I can learn to love him again..We had a good marriage in the beginning years... but life.... and teenagers.......well, we just dont know each other anymore..He isnt a part of this Love Dare, only me... I can only change me.
The words I say affect my heart... which affects my thinking ....which affects the way I act. God help me to see him the way you do and love him the same way.... Alana
alana
2/23/2012
I never thought I was a bad guy. I saw my self as just the guy who would work really hard and never worry about a thing. The Now factor was my bigest down fall. I have been married twice now and I have fallen back into the same life I had with my first wife. Debt lies and cheating. I thought since I if you don't have sex it is not really cheating. Wow that is wrong. I watched Fireproof a few years ago with my wife and it was great I newer thought that movie would be where I turned for help. I bought the Love Dare on 2/1/12 and am on day 23 I feel like I have hit a rut because my wife is not showing any emotion to me I would hope she would. However I have seen little changes in her I know she loves me even if she does want to tell me. I never knew how much I loved her until I hit the cusp of loosing her and our family. I Pray that god will help me with the strength to see me thru the next 17 days and let me keep what I hold so dear and learn to be a better husband. Threat my wife with the love and respect that she deserves she is so beautiful and I am not ready to give up on her I love her so much. I can show her what it is like to be loved.
Brian
2/22/2012
My wife and I are within our first year of marriage. We just had a beautiful baby girl and life should be nice since we also just purchased our home. Sounds good right?...well its not. We struggle majorly with communication, views on opinions, and we clearly see things differently. This has made our marriage exteremely dificult. Some days, we just dont know why we're still at it, until we watched this movie. Fireproof reminded US that once we said "I DO" that was the moment we decided to committ to never leaving your partner in the fire. We are in the fire now and at this point, our prayers are on strong and we are dancing the last dance...hopefully, God willing, the dance will last forever. Here goes to a day-by-day forever love dare.
This movie reminded me that i became lazy and distorted. I need to provide more for my family. As the MAN of the house, it is I who needs to take back the control of the home and help my wife. I was spoiled and became too comfortable, and selfish. This movie has reminded me to value my wife, who truly is the only person i have, and vise versa.
Thank you to Fireproof. Watching this movie was the best thing we did. We even place the DVD Cover on our entertainment center in between our family pictures to remind us of what marriage is really about.
Shane
2/22/2012
My boyfriend and i were high school sweethearts. We were on and off for 4 years and then he went to the air force. He had proposed when he got out of boot camp and i said i needed to find myself for us to wait. He couldn't so he moved on. A year later i went into the Navy and in the 8 years in our military careers we always found each other but we never could agree to be together. We both eventually married different partners. My marriage fell apart a year later. When i got out of the navy he was getting out the air force and we were back home together. He was divorced and i was divorced so we decided to be together. Two years into our relationship I found out i was pregnant. After our daughter was born I suffered post partum depression and tried to help myself get out of it. My depression some how triggered his PTSD from the air force. We started going back and forth a lot. We would get back together for maybe a month and then split. In October we decided to try until the end of the year and see where we went from there. New years day he said he didn't know if this is what he wanted. He moved out and i stayed with the house. I love this man. I have loved him for 15 years. He has always been my constant feeling. I'm looking for a way to work on myself and make him see that this is where he wants to be again. He still says he loves me everyday. But i want a commitment. A partner. So I'm willing to try everything and anything.
2/20/2012
Justin and I aren't actually married yet, but have been together for over 2 years and have a beautiful 4 month old. We have been off and on the whole two years, actually broke up for 4 months before running into one another unexpectidly. Our sin consisits of sex before marriage. We had our child out of wed lock. Justin is someone who can not be wrong, can not be pushed our told what to do. Even in the simplist conversations he's said my "tone" is disrespectful. I've tried to completely change myself into what he says he wants and it didn't work, I've tried being my old self and he's still unsatisfied. The begining of the month I planned a surprise 30th for him and we ended up arguing the whole night after and the next morning he broke it off and my son and I had to leave our home. I've used this separation time to strengthen my relationship with God, but it seems the closer I get, the further Justin strays from me. I found out this week he is now taking me to court for custody. I begged and pleaded with him to hold off. But he said no over and over yelling that he didn't love me anymore and that he had no feelings and would never be with me again. I'm on day 3 and it seems so hard with him and being separated on not so great communication levels. I'm praying with all my heart.
2/19/2012
Me an my wife have been married for a year an half we dated for about a year an a half before I decided to buy rings after we got married I opened my own business an it went south on me. It has caused alot of finacial debt it put alot of strain on my marriage I started drinking alot hated myself an lost touch with my wife. We argued alot the past month an finally 2 weeks ago I got so made I left from us arguing over the same things. I did somethings I really ain't proud off I saw the fireproof movie a few months ago an picked up the book because me an my wife always had a good thing from day one. I never went to church but since reading this book I started going to church I'm on day 5 now an actively seeking marriage counsile. It's a hard road we still don't talk an I'm still praying for happiness an it's a long road Im praying for the lord to help me out on this one. Put it in gods hands and release all worries
2/16/2012
So my marriage is very much on the rocks. I've done everything wrong in my marriage from lie and cheat, to disrespect and ignore my wife. I have no excuses except for that I have been selfish and concerned with me and my feelings. I've never realized how much she meant to me and all that she has done for me in the last 6 years. I am going to try this love dare and put all my faith in God, but my like my screen name says, I think it may be To Little To Late.
George
2/13/2012
My name is Paul I have been married to my wife for 6 years, together for 7 we got married very quick because we got pregnant. We discussed all are options and not having are daughter wasn't an option. I wanted to be with her forever even with all the advice against us making this decision to get married so soon. We had are amazing daughter and a year later from are daughters birth we had are son. We have had the deck stacked against us from the beginning. My wife was young when we got married and never lived on her own to take care of herself and now she had to take care of a four person family. My biggest problem is that I held her up to the expectation of my mom and step mom for the way you take care of a house. This became the major problem in our relationship that was a easy constant fight every day, i have tried to control her and give her ultimatums that have created huge walls in our relationship. She shuts down anytime I ask her. Jan 1 she said she was done and it has been the worst year of my life to date, yesterday my dad told me about FIREPROOF i watched it last night and it made the path I was already on to save my marriage very specific. I dont know if this will work since we did this thing a year and half ago. I love her more then words can explain but I have to learn to love god so that I can express that to her with actions instead of words that have become useless because they are fillers at this point. I am on day 2 I actually did day one yesterday with out even realizing it and dare 2 has gone over better then expected. Faith in god will guide me to his plan, I pray every night for our hearts to be softened and to every one else out there going thru the same pain that has consumed my life. If I could give any advice is to never take advice from someone who hasn't gone thru a divorce or a major seperation, I'm not trying to be rude to those out there but they don't know the pain or the feelings once you have gotten divorce and the pain that you live with for making that desicion. I have decided to walk blindly on his path for eternity and by his example i feel that i have hope to make my marriage not only work but last forever
Paul
2/11/2012
I will be married 10 years in may if we make it there. My husband wants out and he wants it done now. I don't k ow if I should move or let him move out and still truth is love dare. I'm scared. I want him to know Jesus. I want to be happy but divorce is against God and I really feel my husband is lost. Has anyone don't this while living apart? Has anyone had this work while living apart? I need advice and prayers please. He wants me to go look at apartments today. I am falling apart inside. Please help.
Natalie
2/10/2012
It is Day 7 and I am soo hurt this morning. My husband and I have been seperated for 1 1/2 weeks, we have two beautiful little girls and have been married for 7 years. We have gone back and forth to our marriage counselors over the years. Two weeks ago I just couldnt take it anymore. My husband suffers from bipolar and depression, for most of the time the cup is half empty for him. So two weeks ago my cup filled up and spilled over with the chastizing, negativity and defects he would find in me. He would tell me that " I need to make him happy, my tone is what sets his", I asked him to leave. On the third day of our seperation I started the Love Dare, and right away I saw so many errs in my ways. I forgot how to love, be kind and be tender. I was quick to be selfish and proud.
Last night after hearing my daughters crying to their father to please stay, my heart just fell into pieces. I was over the resentment by then but afraid that if he came back things would just go back to being the same. The girls tears put a dagger in my heart and I asked him to come home and we would work on this together. He refused saying that he was hurt by all that had happened and it was recommended by our counselor to stay out because he would probably blow up, it was too soon.
I was so hurt by his response it triggered my defense mechanism and the wall came up again, thoughts ran through my mind - call an attorney, get finances in order, change the locks , etc. I'm in tears right now because I feel lost and feel like the last few days on the Love Dare have been in vain. Please help and pray for us, Monica and Ruben
Thanks
Monica
2/10/2012
Ok...well me and my husband have been together for almost 14 years. We were young when we began to date. He was 17 and I was 19. We've been thru many ups and downs. He's been unfaithful and I have forgiven him every single time. Yes it's been more than once. We got past that. It has been over 6 years in which I thought he was over that phase. We have 11 year old twin girls and 11 month old baby girl. Needless to say I've been pretty occupied with the baby and have not given him much attention. Well just two months ago I find out he was having an emotional affair with the wife of one his coworkers. Of which at the time was a very close friend. She too was in lack of attention. Ofcourse this hit me very hard because in the other occasions he never thought of leaving but this time he said he was confused and didnt know what he wanted. He has removed his wedding ring and because of that I did so too. Not that I don't want to be married but why should I keep it if he doesn't. That's not going to make me feel or act differently. Nonetheless I've changed my ways to his satisfaction. I bought the movie and we both loved it and have watched it a couple times more. I bought the book on Monday. I immediately began with the dares. Interestingly I had been doing what the book said so it really doesn't come as a difficult as I thought. However slowly he has become more distant and he just says its work. That it becomes more and more stressful. Yet he says he is still confused and wants to find his way back. I'm just trying to be patient and continuing with the dares. Although I just started I sometimes feel of just giving up. But I'm still here. I'm just going to continue praying.
Lilia
2/9/2012
My son called a few days ago sharing that his marriage was in crisis. I encouraged him to watch Fireproof and he did. I encouraged him to do the Love Dare and if he did, I would go through it with him. The next day he wrote me that he was starting, so I made myself a journal and got started too. After day one, my son called to tell me he was giving up--he was too frustrated and can't handle it. I couldn't talk much with him at that point as I was in a meeting at work, but told him I'd call him that evening. When I called him, he told me that he came across a Bible verse, on Jesus' Facebook page, that convicted him that he was just being selfish and it calmed him down. Today we start Day 2. We could use a lot of prayer to persevere.
BTW, I have been married for 30 years and have a strong marriage, but there will never be a day where there isn't either something more I can learn about love or something more I can grow in loving better. I'm so looking forward to going through the Love Dare in my own life.
Thanks to all who have put the Love Dare together,
Lloyd..
My son's name is Sergei, who we adopted at age 10 from Russia, he is now 25. Thanks for praying for us.
2/9/2012
Kathy and I have been together for the past 2.5 years. I proposed ove a year ago. She is now peri-menopausal. I irritate her unknowingly. Recently she has asked me to move out. With the economy being the way it is, I am unable to do so. I have moved into our spare room. I recently purchased the Love Dare almost three weeks ago. I am at day 20. She is aware and has said this will not help. "We are friends." After starting the program, I am for the first time in my life doing things the right way. I have learned more about myself in the past few weeks and am really learning how to love her as well as how much I love her.
She is sending mixed signals where she wants me to move, and later is handing me things that we would share in he house much later after I would have moved. For years she has asked me to read a book on boundaries. Since I hate to read, I didn't read the book. I recently picked it up and completed it again learning how many times I have violated her boundaries. I see us together in our future. We are foster parents and recenly completed a program to become adoptive parents? I know that God has plans for us. I will not give up. I believe in us. I believe in my family.
I have hurt her badly and never realized it until recently. The extent is still unknown, She is having a difficult time trusting me. Lord Jesus, I ask that the trust is restored. I ask for prayers from all that read this.
Joe
2/8/2012
I'm on day 3 and am already seeing the error of my ways with my fiance' "T". She is the most beautiful person in the world and we fell in ove with each other and became close enough to try for a child prior to marriage. Well needless to say once she became pregnant, hormonal and very sick all the time, I did not think of her and her needs and had a very short temper. NOT FAIR. This book after only three days is showing me what kind of a monster I had been to my pregnant love of my life AND that the dares are relativiely easy to practice, but I know its going to be alot of work to just keep going with these dares until we grow old together. No matter what state your relationship is in, there is always hope and faith to consider as God knows what he has planned for you. God is great and we get along now. I even prayed the other day and said he reminded me of Hannibal Smith from the A-Team. "I love it when a plan comes together" Use this book, read it and keep reading it. It feels so good to give love again. And my little daughter Bug is benefitting from this also. She desreves better, they both do from me.
Mike
Mike
2/7/2012
I am in my second marriage and 4 months into it we are struggling bad. She brought two kids and me one into it. I know we love each other, but just can't seem to connect. I feel so broken and afraid to lose her and the kids! We both bring issues and just pray for God to intervene. Day one of patience was tough, but She is worth the pain.
Mark
2/6/2012
Where to begin. I have been with my husband for 23 years. We have endured much love over the years, and of recent a lot of pain. He is a hard worker and a great father. In all the years we have been together we have been on separate working shifts and whats happening is that we have become distant, and the common thread is our younger children and I tend get overlooked and taken for granted. I am afraid that what we had in the beginning is gone. We seem to be strangers with differnt ideals residing in the same home. I always felt that he was my soul mate, and I want to have those feelings again. I have asked and prayed to God. Maybe some of those changes are with me too, but I don't know how to change. I bought the Love Dare book almost 1 1/2 years ago, so this is not something new that I am feeling. I look at the book read the first pages and try. He's a stubbon man, who learned from a stubbon and lazy dad and that has been passed down. It is difficult some days. I want to love that man I fell in love with again...I just hope it's not too late.
2/6/2012
I met my husband almost 11 yrs ago in September. From the moment I met him I knew he was the one. We married a year later on October 19, 2002. We had a son a year after that. Then we seperated in August of 2004. We have kept in contact and everything through that time. He has been in and out of prison for his drug addictions. We have recently talked about him coming back home once he gets out and giving our marriage another try. I never filed for divorce because he wasn't just my husband, or my best friend, he was my soul mate. I have missed him so much and I have tried so hard to pray for him to get better. How do I know he is better. My son really needs his father in his life. Our son is almost 9 yrs old and this is the time where he needs a father the most. He is excited that daddy is coming home but, I'm worried that he will fall back into those same patterns again. I have missed him so much and not once have I ever really considered giving my heart to another man. I've gone out on dates but, I made that vow to my husband to love him and him only and I think that's why I never divorced him even though I told him I was going to. He still holds the key to my heart and I love him so much. How can I make sure He knows that he is the only one for me?
tracey
2/2/2012
I love my husband and we have been or would have been together for 12 years and I want to do this love dare but how does one do this dare when the woman he claims now is the love of his life lives with us and he sleeps with her constantly living in the bedroom that was supposed to our 3 sons bedroom.And says he can't stand me and that he should have killed himself along time ago type thing but then says he really deeply cares about me. Please pray for my marriage and husband. God has confirmed to me that he wants us to be together. Please pray that God will show me exactly to pull this dare off. Thanks!
Terri
2/1/2012
Hello, My name is Jared I am on day 21 on the Love Dare. I met my now wife through work a little over five years ago. She always wanted to get married sooner than I did while we were dating. We got married October 2010. Our first year was rough as all are. We had our fair share of arguments, but we had more good times than that. She left me right before Christmas of last year saying that she did not want to live where we were living. I hunt and fish alot and she did not want to live that lifestyle. I started the Love Dare 21 days ago because I feel I have been sliding away from God. It has been a long rough battle and my wife has yet to return home from her mothers house. Through this book I have come closer to God than I have ever been. It has opened my eyes up to how selfish I was with my time. My wife is now wanting a divorce even tho I followed the Love Dare everyday. I know that the Lord will lead me in the right direction even if she refuses to work through this bump in the road. I love my wife more than anything in the world. I pray for the others going through the same thing the pain in your hearts are felt by me also.
Jared
1/31/2012
Hello, I just got my book today because my 2 year relationship is on the edge of being over. I always thought it was because of him that we were having so many troubles. I have very bad anger issues and I am always complaining instead of appreciating the things we do have together. Our relationship started off so well. But lately I feel him drifting apart because I have damaged us so with my mouth. I get so angry with with, i have hit him, belittled him anything else you can think of. He says we can't get married because we fight too much. Only after reading Day today I realize how I can be pushing him away. I have a good man. He may not be all that romantic as I like but he he everything else you could ask for in a man. I love him so much but feel him slipping away and I feel like if i don't get it together I will lose him.
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